10. Buy a guitar for $500+ dollars
from his website; you can sell all
your unneeded personal possessions
on Ebay to raise the funds, like
your fridge.
9. Fake an illness or disability.
This is a tough one, because you
must actually appear to be sick or
disabled when you meet him, which
might not put you at looking your
best. Further, you have to continue
the charade at future shows/events,
or risk fan banishment.
8. Pretend you're Rick's professional
photographer and claim that you simply
forogot your pass backstage. Be prepared
to invest thousands of dollars in
camera equipment to be able to pull
this one off.
7. Stalk the lobby of the hotel
he stays at in town. This could be
tough because you actually have to
find out which hotel he actually
stays at. While many fans do this
on a regular basis, it does require
sleuthing skills or major ass kissing
skills.
6. Stalk the venue where Rick will
be playing at in town. Obviously
easier than discovering his hotel
but harder to gain moments in time
with the Man.
5.
Befriend someone in Rick's camp (band
member, roadie, photographer,
manager, etc) in order to gain goodwill
and backstage passes. This is a tricky
thing to pull off because you have
to appear to not be using the person
to get close to Rick, even though
that is obviously your primary goal.
4. Offer "help" to someone in Rick's
camp for same reason above.
3. Give Rick unusual and creative
gifts that will help him remember
your name when you beg his road manager
to come backstage.
2. Give Rick's road manager or band
members gifts of alcohol; tequila
we've heard works especially well
with Bucky, while just plying Dave
with beers can also be a help.
1. Get breast implants and don't
be afraid to show off the handiwork!
This ploy has been known to work
with nearly every male person standing
in your way between you and Rick.
THESE METHODS ARE PROVEN WAYS TO
MEET RICK SPRINGFIELD, TRIED AND
TRUE BY HUNDREDS OF PSYCHO FANS OVER
THE YEARS. RICK IS SUCH A NICE GUY,
HE CAN NEVER SAY NO TO ANY OF THE
PSYCHOS, NO MATTER HOW FREAKED OUT
THEY MAKE HIM. ENJOY YOUR TIME WITH
HIM!
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